Can You Imagine?

As I sat in the foyer with my dad, a kid walked in wearing church attire with a sweater over his white shirt. It was a Parkway Drive sweatshirt from their latest album, "Ire." I said, "Hey, nice shirt!" He gave me a thumbs up, and went into the chapel with his dad. Another had come in before him, wearing those skinny sweatpants and a hoodie, black everything. His dad was with him, I inferred that the kid maybe lost interest in the church but there was no resentment or anything on his dad's face, I doubt it even crossed his mind to worry about the clothes his son was wearing, being present is being present, whether it's a suit and tie or a swimming suit.

I know many members of the church have this fixation of appearance, so seeing both of those kids, (the one in the Parkway Drive sweatshirt had actually just returned from a mission) made me glad to see people breaking the appearance status quo that we, for some reason, fixate on in the church. Parkway Drive is one of those bands that people would condemn because of it's intense and brutal melodies and screaming. To me, this was proof that there are people in the church who are a lot like me. I figured this out as I served a mission; Our appearance didn't matter. You cannot see someone's heart by looking at their clothing or manner of dress, yet, many people make fun of and look down on those who do not look like them. One of the most powerful songs in the church is sung by the Primary kids "If you don't walk like most people do, some people walk away from you, but I won't." Christ knows our hearts, even though we may not always have our hearts in the right place, He knows who the "humble, penitent seeker(s) of truth" are. He sees you as family, because you are. He loves you more than you love yourself, more than your parents love you, for His love is perfect and endless. He "looketh upon the heart" because that's all He asks for; our hearts. He does not ask for our "clean shaven, beardless" hearts. He does not ask for our hearts in a freshly pressed white shirt and tie. He does not ask for tattooless, piercingless hearts. He just asks that they be broken, in the sense of humility and gratitude. Not only would our church, but our world would be a totally different place were we to love with closed eyes. I hope that what I have seen is a movement in the purification of our intent and hearts as Christ beckoned us. 

I know I have weaknesses, I don't say the right things, I make mistakes constantly, I've just accepted that; I cannot perfect myself and there are many mortal things that I cannot overcome without the power of Christ's Atonement. The only true change I've ever seen in my life started with my heart. I served my mission in Hungary, and I thought there was a formula for being that "golden" missionary that included dress, mannerisms, speech patterns, etc. Reality sucker punched me and God somehow got me to dig through some random books as I packed to transfer to another area. In those books, I kept one, "Believing Christ." Through reading that, and starting my journey to comprehend what the Atonement was and what it does, I threw it all away. I quit trying to be someone else. God made me, who else was I supposed to be? I gained gratitude for the Atonement and began to see it light people's lives, when I had the chance to share it. I naturally spent all my time thinking of problems and solutions, dissecting philosophy and rhetoric. ....And I talked about snowmobiles quite a bit. As I wrote more than a year ago, I came home thinking I'd adjust quickly because I didn't fake anything about who I was. I still wanted to play Halo with the boys, I still wanted to listen to As I Lay Dying and Destroy the Runner. But what I hadn't accounted for is that my heart had changed. I stopped looking at life and people through the details. I just tried to love them. This has stuck with me. In spite of doubts that I have, in spite of unsurities concerning doctrines or history, Christ, in both the Book of Mormon and the Bible makes it clear, "The greatest is love" and this has never faltered in me. Paul is quite possibly my favorite writer in all of the scripture. He was a little edgy. He seemed to have a temper and he was pretty stubborn and opinionated. And I may just share one... two... or all of those aforementioned traits.... If I could have my heart tatooed to keep it in the right place all the time, I'd have 1 Corinthians 13 on it, and of course, it would be in Hungarian. He starts off almost bragging, "I can do this, I can do that." He uses the things that most people take for signs as one who is called or inspired like "speaking in many tongues of man and angels" or "giving all that he has to the poor" or "having the gift of prophecy" to illustrate that none of these matter without love. Quite honestly, I don't know why the King James version uses the word "charity" but from my knowledge, most translations just say love, which I find more meaning in; what is greater than love? Without love, you can know it all. Without love, you can speak every language. Without love, you can donate all your possessions to the needy. But you cannot truly lift someone else up without love nor can you truly progress without love. You can believe in the Gospel, in a church, in a doctrine without love, yet, it availeth you nothing.

I hope to continue to see this doctrine of love, engulf our fixation on social status and appearance. Can you imagine a community where it is most popular to love and give yourself and your efforts to lifting up those who need it, instead of seeing it as a weakness to stop and help others? Can you imagine a church filled with people fixated on learning to overcome initial knee-jerk reactions when they learn of someone's past? Can you imagine a world where love is supported without guile, without pride, with rejoicing in truth and the good fortune of others? Can you imagine? It all starts with one person. We have to let go of our pride. We have to understand the Atonement and what it really means. If you think that you are responsible for working yourself into heaven, you will never truly see people the way Christ does, which means you will never truly love others as Christ has asked us. 

You must understand that we, as mortals cannot pay this debt. Just like going 10 MPH under the speed limit does not make up for receiving a ticket for going 10 MPH OVER. Mortal hands cannot pay an eternal debt. In this sense, what's done is done. Once this really sinks into your heart, once you realize that you, just like anyone, even those who have committed possibly greater or less sin than you, are lost, only then will you begin to see others as Christ sees them. 

None of us have the means to pay this debt, but Christ doesn't ask that. He only asks for our hearts. He bids us, "Come follow me." He will not rescue the unwilling, though He does not ask us for much. The more we understand the magnitude of His Grace (eternal and infinite), the more humble and appreciative we become and the more we learn to see others through His eyes with pure hearts in Christ. The details of other aspects of the church won't need to be emphasized anymore. Love will replace duty and reprimand will be replaced with progress and growth. Gossip will fall to kind words of empathy and understanding. I know that our world will never reach this state, but you can. You can see others with Christ's eyes. Learn of His Atonement, ponder the Fall of Adam and the Fall of Man. Give the tolerance, that Christ gives to you, to all of His other children unconditionally. Love people. That does not mean to be soft and easily moved. Love is the desire for all things good. And love rejoiceth in the truth. Sometimes we have to be stern, maybe with a child growing up, maybe (or always) with our own righteous convictions. But nonetheless, just love people. Error on the side of kindness. Remember that everyone is fighting a battle inside. Ask to understand those around you; ask both God and those who you are trying to understand. Be genuine. Be brave. Be humble. And be patient with yourself on this journey, even when you lose your patience, for Christ, the greatest of all, has not lost His for you.

Grace Alone - Dustin Kensrue

I was an orphan lost at the fall
Running away when I'd hear your call
But Father, you worked your will

I had no righteousness of my own
I had no right to draw near your throne
But Father, you loved me still

And in love before you laid the world's foundation
You predestined to adopt me as your own
You have raised me up so high above my station
I'm a child of God by grace and grace alone

You left your home to seek out the lost
You knew the great and terrible cost
But Jesus, your face was set

I worked my fingers down to the bone
Nothing I did could ever atone
But Jesus, you paid my debt

By your blood I have redemption and salvation
Lord, you died that I might reap what you have sown
And you rose that I might be a new creation
I am born again by grace and grace alone

I was in darkness all of my life
I never knew the day from the night
But Spirit, you made me see

I swore I knew the way on my own
Head full of rocks, a heart made of stone
But Spirit, you moved in me

At your touch my sleeping spirit was awakened
On my darkened heart the light of Christ has shone
Called into a kingdom that cannot be shaken
Heaven's citizen by grace and grace alone

So I'll stand in faith by grace and grace alone
I will run the race by grace and grace alone
I will slay my sin by grace and grace alone
I will reach the end by grace and grace alone